When I met Ste I met the man who I soon realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The man who could make me smile whenever I felt sad. The man who made the butterflies in my stomach turn into the whole damn zoo (yes, like the song). The man I felt safe and content with. The man who encouraged and pushed me to be a better me and reach for my goals.
What I also got was this little girl. Although I knew she was going to become a big part of my life, I never estimated the impact this tiny little princess would have.
Meeting her was nerve-wracking. Ste seemed to take it in his stride, as he did when he met my boys. I had so many doubts. Would she like me? Would she accept me? What type of relationship were we going to have? How would her Mum feel about me? As a mother myself, I was very concerned with not stepping on her Mum’s toes and how this would all work out. I know I would be nervous and unsure of another woman coming into my children’s lives and really wanted to foster a positive relationship there. Make her not feel threatened, hope she knew I would do my best for her daughter without trying to muscle in on her role.
Unfortunately my dreams of a positive and friendly relationship with her Mum have yet to come to fruition. Her and Ste’s relationship is still quite strained but hopefully time will be the great healer it always promises and with everyone’s main focus being Layla, things will get easier.
I first met Layla when she was around nine months of age. She was pretty wary of me at first and I didn’t want to push it so didn’t force myself on her and just waited till she approached me before offering toys and interaction. She is extremely close to her Dad and a total Daddy’s Girl so I tried not to feel too rejected as she pretty much wanted him over and above everybody, not just me. Over time she started to come round. We would play together and she would let me hold her while Ste was there.
Fast forward to the present. Layla has a piece of my heart I won’t ever be getting back. We enjoy playing together, we eat together, she will more often fall asleep on me than she does her Dad. He blames having no boobs but I like to think she views me as a calm and patient person who she is now more than comfortable with (as well as good ‘getting a baby to sleep’ technique I appear to have mastered after nine years of nursery nursing and two babies of my own). She is happy to stay with me while her Dad goes off to the toilet and always enjoys a good nursery rhyme session or a dance to the music channels!
I have realised all of those things that I was nervous about, I shouldn’t have been. Me and Layla have developed our own bond and it’s come as naturally as any other relationship. I help meet her needs while she is with us, I keep her entertained and I make her laugh and smile, I settle her when she is tired and comfort her if she’s upset. In return she has given me an amazing opportunity – even though I didn’t give birth to her and I’m not her Mum, I love her, miss her, worry about her and have the highest hopes for her future as I do my own two boys. Seeing the bond between her and her Dad warms my heart and is another reason why I love him so much, he really is an amazing Dad.
Just the other day her Grandma was ‘chasing’ her and Layla ran over to me, arms outstretched. I was someone who could save her! I scooped her up and she buried in for a cuddle, giggling her cute little giggle. And I realised I had done it and all I had to give it was time and patience and be myself!
I am so grateful to have been given the chance to be a part of her life. I am so grateful that me and Ste have been blessed with these three amazing children between us and now we get to share them, watch and help them grow together.
Becoming a step-mummy wasn’t really a choice – her Dad had made me well and truly fall at his feet. But developing this special relationship has been a privilege and will continue to be as she grows. I’m sure we will have our fair share of ups and downs in the future. But this little girl has captured my heart just like her Dad and I couldn’t be happier!
When I met Ste I met the man who I soon realized I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. The man who could make me smile whenever I felt sad. The man who made the butterflies in my stomach turn into the whole damn zoo (yes, like the song). The man I felt safe and content with. The man who encouraged and pushed me to be a better me and reach for my goals.
What I also got was this little girl. Although I knew she was going to become a big part of my life, I never estimated the impact this tiny little princess would have.
Meeting her was nerve-wracking. Ste seemed to take it in his stride, as he did when he met my boys. I had so many doubts. Would she like me? Would she accept me? What type of relationship were we going to have? How would her Mum feel about me? As a mother myself, I was very concerned with not stepping on her Mum’s toes and how this would all work out. I know I would be nervous and unsure of another woman coming into my children’s lives and really wanted to foster a positive relationship there. Make her not feel threatened, hope she knew I would do my best for her daughter without trying to muscle in on her role.
Unfortunately my dreams of a positive and friendly relationship with her Mum have yet to come to fruition. Her and Ste’s relationship is still quite strained but hopefully time will be the great healer it always promises and with everyone’s main focus being Layla, things will get easier.
I first met Layla when she was around nine months of age. She was pretty wary of me at first and I didn’t want to push it so didn’t force myself on her and just waited till she approached me before offering toys and interaction. She is extremely close to her Dad and a total Daddy’s Girl so I tried not to feel too rejected as she pretty much wanted him over and above everybody, not just me. Over time she started to come round. We would play together and she would let me hold her while Ste was there.
Fast forward to the present. Layla has a piece of my heart I won’t ever be getting back. We enjoy playing together, we eat together, she will more often fall asleep on me than she does her Dad. He blames having no boobs but I like to think she views me as a calm and patient person who she is now more than comfortable with (as well as good ‘getting a baby to sleep’ technique I appear to have mastered after nine years of nursery nursing and two babies of my own). She is happy to stay with me while her Dad goes off to the toilet and always enjoys a good nursery rhyme session or a dance to the music channels!
I have realised all of those things that I was nervous about, I shouldn’t have been. Me and Layla have developed our own bond and it’s come as naturally as any other relationship. I help meet her needs while she is with us, I keep her entertained and I make her laugh and smile, I settle her when she is tired and comfort her if she’s upset. In return she has given me an amazing opportunity – even though I didn’t give birth to her and I’m not her Mum, I love her, miss her, worry about her and have the highest hopes for her future as I do my own two boys. Seeing the bond between her and her Dad warms my heart and is another reason why I love him so much, he really is an amazing Dad.
Just the other day her Grandma was ‘chasing’ her and Layla ran over to me, arms outstretched. I was someone who could save her! I scooped her up and she buried in for a cuddle, giggling her cute little giggle. And I realised I had done it and all I had to give it was time and patience and be myself!
I am so grateful to have been given the chance to be a part of her life. I am so grateful that me and Ste have been blessed with these three amazing children between us and now we get to share them, watch and help them grow together.
Becoming a step-mummy wasn’t really a choice – her Dad had made me well and truly fall at his feet. But developing this special relationship has been a privilege and will continue to be as she grows. I’m sure we will have our fair share of ups and downs in the future. But this little girl has captured my heart just like her Dad and I couldn’t be happier!
The Spoonie Mummy 
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