World Book Day With A Side Of Sadness

Having chronic illnesses is bad enough but some days it feels crueller than others and it’s often just the little things.

Being a mummy is literally my favourite thing in the world. I love everything about it, from the monumental first steps, to the seemingly routine bed time snuggle and storytimes every night.

Today is World Book Day. I’ve always loved to read and I feel blessed to have passed this joy onto the boys. It’s something we love to do together and something they also enjoy doing for themselves and (even if I do say so myself) are both excellent readers!

Being stuck in hospital it’s been left to my amazing Mum, Dad and Aunty who have been totally fabulous with helping out with the boys for me to get them ready today. And I feel cheated and upset that I’ve missed out on something again through these horrible diseases! I have tried to make the most of being involved and have spoken to the boys about their outfits and ordered what costume bits they needed but it still doesn’t feel enough!

A Spoonie Mummy (or Daddy) often lives with these feelings of guilt and sadness. I chose to have children and try to shield them as much as possible from my illnesses. I did not have them with the intention of them becoming my carers. I want them to be able to enjoy everything any other child does and provide every possible opportunity I can give to them.

However I’m extremely proud of the boys and I see it in the children of friends I know with chronic illnesses like me. They have a beautiful compassion and understanding of how people are feeling. It’s not an overt quality but subtle and quiet and lovely to see in people so young. Something the world should never be short of!

Although this morning has been hard with the feelings of missing out, it’s also giving me another push to get strong once again and get out of here all shiny and fixed! It will always be a battle but I’ve got the best things in the world to be fighting for!

Here they were all ready to go this morning, super excited and looking amazing – I give you Harry Potter and Thing 1!


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